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Survive A DUI

How to get through getting a DUI - both mentally, and legally.

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Guest Post: Starting Over with a New Zip Code: Rebooting Your Life

handsImage via Pexels

(Jason Lewis reached out to me via the contact form and offered up his unique take on the issues at hand for people dealing with DUIs… I've only really heard of people saying things in the pit of despair when they've just been arrested and feel so awful. I've never heard of anyone actually packing up their life and moving away, but then again, why would I have? If they've packed up and run away, they've just disappeared! It's interesting to think about. Sometimes change is good. - Tom)

Starting fresh in a new city after going through a challenging period like getting a DUI can feel like a daunting task. Yet, it also holds the promise of new beginnings, a clean slate, and the chance to redefine who you are. This article from Survive A DUI offers a roadmap for navigating this transformative experience, ensuring that you not only survive but also thrive in your new environment.

Prioritize Mental Health
First and foremost, look after your mental health. If you're emerging from a dark place, professional help such as therapy or counseling can be instrumental. Alongside this, establish daily self-care routines, including skincare, reading, or whatever makes you feel good. Practices like mindfulness and meditation can also help anchor you in the present moment, providing much-needed stability.

Find a Place to Live
When relocating to a new city, one of the most significant tasks is finding a suitable place to live. An effective strategy is to start your search online for rentals in your desired location. Numerous websites and apps provide listings with detailed information about available apartments or houses, including rent prices, amenities, and even virtual tours. This preliminary search can help you narrow down your options, understand the rental market in the new city, and ultimately find a place that meets your needs and fits your budget.

Connect with Local Resources
Don’t underestimate the support that local resources can offer. Look for community centers or support groups that align with your interests or needs. Career services and job placement agencies can be incredibly beneficial if you're starting a new job or looking for employment. Finally, if you're considering further education, look into courses or workshops that can help you skill up or shift career paths.

Building New Friendships
Isolation can exacerbate existing challenges, so prioritize social connections. Attend community events or social gatherings to meet new people. If you have specific interests, look for clubs or hobby groups where you can meet like-minded individuals. Social media platforms and friendship apps can also be helpful to establish initial connections before meeting people in person.

Exploring Your New Community
Use your fresh start as an opportunity to explore your new community. Take weekend strolls to get to know your neighborhood’s nooks and crannies. Museums, parks, and cultural events can provide both entertainment and a deeper understanding of your new city. And don’t forget the food—trying local restaurants is not just enjoyable but also a fun way to immerse yourself in local culture.

Maintaining a Positive Outlook
Maintaining a positive outlook can significantly impact your experience. Start a gratitude journal to focus on what’s going well, however small. Break down your larger goals into more achievable tasks and celebrate these small victories. Surround yourself with positive influences, be it people, books, or motivational podcasts.

Companion with a Pet
If your living situation allows for it, consider adopting a pet. The companionship can make a world of difference when you’re feeling lonely. Pets also bring routine and responsibility into your life, elements that can be grounding. The emotional support and unconditional love a pet offers can be a healing presence as you navigate your new beginning.

Embrace a Healthier Lifestyle
Lastly, use this transition as a catalyst for a healthier lifestyle. Incorporate quick 20-minute workouts into your daily routine or adopt active commuting methods like cycling or walking. Make balanced meal choices and remember to hydrate—sometimes, the basics are the most impactful.

When you’ve made a mistake like getting a DUI, moving to a new city can be your catalyst for change, offering you a fresh canvas on which to paint your life anew. By looking after your mental well-being, tapping into local resources, creating new social circles, and adopting a positive mindset, you can transition from surviving to thriving. So go ahead, explore your new surroundings, get involved in the community, and perhaps even find a cuddly companion for this exciting new chapter of your life. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and your new life is just a decision away.

For resources and information to help you get through a DUI mentally and legally, visit Survive A DUI today!

Guest Post: DUI Effects on Mental Health & Treatment

Mark Berry reached out to me to share his thoughts on DUI's effects on mental health. If you'd like to share your thoughts on a topic, please reach out via the contact page. - Tom

Most people associate the dangers of drunk driving with things like getting into accidents or being pulled over by the police. However, there are additional risks associated with intoxicated driving, risks that can have an impact on your mental state.

Repeat offenders are more prone to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. DUI offenders are more likely to commit suicide than those who have not been convicted, according to studies. When it comes to drunk driving, you need be mindful of more than just the physical concerns. This behavior is also related with mental health problems.

Anxiety

Anxiety is one of the most common mental health hazards associated with drunk driving. This is especially true for first-time offenders who may be concerned about being involved in an accident or being pulled over by police. Even repeat offenders can experience anxiety as a result of drunk driving convictions.

Seeking legal and psychological assistance can aid persons suffering from drunk driving symptoms. If you need legal assistance, you can consult with a DUI Lawyer, and many mental health professionals can also help.

Depression

Another major mental health issue related with drunk driving is depression. This is especially true for repeat offenders, who may believe their situation is hopeless.

However, if you've been convicted of DUI then you must seek professional counseling for any depression symptoms you are suffering. The majority of depression cases can be properly addressed with treatment and medication.

Other Mental Health Dangers

Other mental health problems are related with intoxicated driving, in addition to anxiety and sadness. Among these are: feelings of humiliation and guilt; difficulty concentrating; and anger and frustration.

Sleeping Difficulties

Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities Alcoholism Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), Memory issues, Work or school troubles, etc.

Precautions, Treatments, and Identification

If you're suffering from mental health issues as a result of your drunk driving convictions, there are treatments available to help.

If you are suffering from alcoholism, it is critical that you get expert assistance because this is a serious condition that requires treatment. There are various sorts of alcohol addiction treatment available, and the optimal treatment will differ from person to person. If you are suffering from anxiety or depression, therapy may be a helpful treatment choice.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a sort of therapy that can be especially beneficial for people suffering from anxiety or depression.

Medication may be required in some circumstances to treat anxiety or depression. If you're on medication for your mental health, it's critical that you follow your doctor's recommendations and never drink alcohol while taking it, and take caution while driving.

You can also take steps to reduce drunk driving and the associated mental health hazards. If you intend to drink, have a designated driver who will not be drinking. If you've been drinking, you can also use apps like Uber or Lyft to obtain a ride home. It's also critical to recognize the indicators of drunk driving. Call the police if you see someone driving erratically, swerving, or speeding.

Contact a DUI Defense Lawyer Right Away!

We are fallible by nature and are likely to make mistakes. Sometimes our emotions take control of our minds, preventing us from making logical decisions.

Coping with the consequences of a DUI arrest may be more difficult, but you may begin with the minor things. Exercise regularly and eat healthily. Avoid alcohol and seek help from family and friends.

Most importantly, seek legal counsel from a DUI attorney. You will feel more confidence going into trial if you know you have someone who can assist you with your predicament. They can also refer you to local resources to assist you in dealing with mental and emotional stress.

Contact a DUI lawyer right away!

Author’s Bio:
Mark Berry is a lifestyle blogger whose writing is focused on self-development, health & fitness, entertainment, and debt solutions Services. He encourages readers to live their dreams but also teaches them to be realistic and practical. He loves to share his insight on life experiences and contributes to various online platforms in the same niche.

Guest Post: Having Hope - 4 DUIs and Moving Forward

I saw Branden post his story on Reddit's DUI board (there's also a SAD Reddit) and encouraged him to share his story in the hopes that it can help others out there. If you'd like to share your story, please contact me. There's a lot of people who are going through what you have, and a lot of people who have already gone through it and come out the other side. Together we can make this better for all of us - Tom

Having Hope



I received DUIs in November of 2014, January of 2016, September of 2017, and March of 2020 and this is my experience.

For the first, I went out with friends from my job, Uber-ed to my truck which was left at work, napped for a while in the truck, ate some food from a drive though at taco bell, and rolled through a stop sign while proceeding home. An officer was there in the dark, lights off. I spent the night in jail and lost that job opening a craft burger restaurant in a high traffic area in Orange County, California. Anyone with a first DUI knows it can be just a slap on the wrist. By one estimate, 1 in 5 California residents have a DUI and me being a young twenty-something year old kid didn’t think too much about it.

For the second, I went on a snowboarding trip to Big Bear with some friends, drank heavily the last night, and in the morning, I drove a friend’s car home. I was caught speeding down the mountain and because I had a prior, was breathalyzed. I did 30 days of SCRAM/house arrest.

The third happened at a DUI checkpoint. I had been at a friend’s birthday party with my girlfriend at the time. She had too much to drink and I wanted to leave early to get some rest for the following workday. I had been doing investment allocations for an aerospace company and I worked another restaurant job on weekends. I had a drink at this party, but when I took the turn and discovered the checkpoint, I knew it was over. I spend 30 days in Orange County jail.

For the fourth, COVID had struck. At this point, I was on the verge of becoming a heavy drinker. I relied on alcohol in social settings, going out and partying with friends, but this started spilling over to drinking sometimes in isolation. I was studying while drinking some wine before I decided to grab something to eat. I was lucky enough to get away with only the night in jail before checking myself into a treatment facility for 60 days and pleading into DUI court.

Before the fourth, I never thought I had an issue with alcohol. I simply thought I made some very idiotic decisions. My drinking typically involved only social situations, but I would party hard and often, slowly losing any control. The fourth was a wakeup call. My weekends of partying have now come to an end, and I haven't had a drink in nearly 500 days since.

Overall, people tell me I'm lucky. I can continue on to finish my business degree at a local university, I have a lot of freedoms, I'm not locked up, and most importantly I never hurt myself or anyone else. People would be right by saying all of this; however, it's so difficult to be optimistic or confident about anything sometimes.

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with the label society has given me. I think about obtaining this degree and being un-hirable. I think about this rigorous DUI court program and formal probation and what all that entails: 10pm curfew, no traveling outside state lines, no traveling outside the county without the POs ok to do so, weekly therapy with a court appointed counselor, weekly group therapy, several 12-step meetings per week (I'm really not a fan of AA but that's what everyone pushes), bi-weekly 3-6 hour court appearances, several random urinalysis tests per week, random home searches, etc. and I don't know how I'll be able to begin a career with it all, have any meaningful relationships or have what I consider to be a normal life. It's depressing.

People have said I deserve it. People have said I deserve much worse. And sometimes I agree. I realize what I’ve done is absolute insanity, it’s unethical, it’s dangerous and careless, and I agree. And I’m learning… I’m changing, I’m growing, I’m remorseful not because I was caught, but because I understand that my actions could have killed someone. Someone who has a life just like mine.
Some days are easier than others, but more often than not, I struggle to find hope. I tend to get really down on myself and as a result, my confidence and self-worth are all but gone. I feel like a shell of the happy, energetic, fun-to-be-around person I once was.

I've lurked a lot of comments and posts on internet forums, and I've seen some similar sentiment. For those going through similar bouts of depression, maybe you'll find some comfort in knowing you're not alone. This is the most difficult and challenging thing I've ever experienced and it's so hard to carry on at times.

I think I felt the need to have my story heard as a therapeutic rant/journal to make that point known to others as well as myself: you are not alone. This is hard. I think it gets better, I hope it gets better, it has to.

I've been spending my days now studying mostly. I received a 4.0 at my university last semester, I try to hit the gym 5 days a week, I read, I surf, I have a separate therapist I confide more in (and man, after writing this I think I need a session), I'm started dating someone who's been a good friend the past couple years and is extremely supportive of my path of continued self-betterment. I'm trying and I'm trying really hard and sometimes it's still overwhelming. Sometimes I still break down. Sometimes I still feel completely hopeless. And sometimes it's not so bad, and it's those times that keep me going because if it's not so bad sometimes, then maybe there is a possibility life can get even better. I just have to hang on to some hope, live one day at a time, and note the good things I have in the present moment.

Guest Post: Psychological Impact of a DUI Charge

Got a reader submission from John who wanted to talk about the psychological impact of all this - Tom

Psychological Impact of a DUI Charge


A DUI charge can lead to dire legal consequences, but that is not the only concern at the time of arrest. The DUI testing, police questions, license confiscation, and the overall incriminating circumstances can be overwhelming. The situation is most troublesome for young drivers who are first time offenders. They experience a paradox of emotions because there is so much to lose. They crave for a support system, as they do not know how to deal with a criminal allegation. Some offenders make the mistake of misbehaving with the police officers, which further worsens the conditions. It is natural for a person to go through a range of emotional phases while dealing with a DUI charge:

Shock and Denial


Being pulled over by the traffic police is typically an unpleasant surprise. On the top of that, getting handcuffed by a stern officer and being dragged to the police station is nothing less than horrifying. The proceedings seem like a nightmare and you hope to wake up any second. You tell yourself that you did not do anything wrong and want to run free, but find yourself restrained. You are not ready to take responsibility of your actions and face the consequences. You believe that denial will enable you to get past this.

Fear and Fury


Anger gets the best of you when the police treats you like a criminal and disrupts your plans. You clearly never intended to land in jail, thereby you curse your luck. You may yell or hit something in the heat of your desperation and frustration. At the same time, you are also frightened of what is yet to come. You are scared of having to spend the night in jail and no one coming to your rescue. If a family member sees you like this, how will you explain? 

Remorse and Embarrassment


When you realize that you were wrong and cannot undo what has happened, the guilt begins to set in. You regret every action that led you to that moment. You wish you never had a drink or got behind the wheel, but it’s too late. You wonder what your family and peers will have to say once they find out about your criminal offense. You dread the fact that your mug shot shall become public and everyone you know will see it. You cannot stop thinking about the implications of a criminal record on your job or education. 

Despair and Anxiety


When everything is out in the open and you are left helpless, despair takes over. You are sad that you let others down and risked your own future. You become a patient of depression after receiving rejection from the society and losing several privileges you had earlier. You want to go back in time, but things will never be the same. You pledge to never drink or drive again because you cannot bear reliving the recent events. 

Accepting Reality


Time heals wounds, thus you gradually become calm and complacent. You are adhered to the altered lifestyle, so it doesn’t bother you anymore. As you make peace with reality, everything starts shifting back to normal. You can never forget the incident, but you learn to live with it.  

Moving On


You start putting your life back together and strive to make things right. You try to invoke optimism and step forward. You hope to earn back the trust of people who matter the most, and not repeat your mistakes. 

Author Bio
John Adams writes about physiological traumas and personal healing. He encourages readers to fight their fears and overcome the obstacles holding them back. He believes that any person can improve the quality of his or her life by incorporating positivity in every thought and action. He loves to share his insight on life experiences, and contributes on various online platform in the same niche. 

Let's Keep in Touch - The Survive A DUI Newsletter

Tom here… Just wanted to drop a quick note - I'm starting a newsletter to help people keep updated with the site, new posts, and new DUI laws as they happen. Free to subscribe, unsubscribe anytime, and I'll have the "community" features enabled so you can talk with other people and help commiserate and share experiences (there's already a discussion thread for you to post in).



No pressure to sign up, I just wanted to offer another resource for all of us to get through this together.

-Tom.

Guest Post: How To Emotionally Recover After Receiving A DUI

Brandon emailed me again wanting to give some perspective on how to emotionally recover from a DUI. Decided it was a good idea to give an additional viewpoint other than mine about how to get through this. - Tom

How To Emotionally Recover After Receiving A DUI

By: Brandon Leuangpaseuth

“Pull over, I need to throw up!”

I quickly jerked the steering wheel to the right lane and my car drifted towards the exit. I exited from the freeway, pulled into the nearby gas station as one of my female friends hunched over and vomited in the trashcan by the gas pump. She spilled her guts outside of the car as I let out a deep sigh of relief.

I searched for a water bottle around the car but as I looked up into the rearview mirror, blue and red lights filled my eyes. My body froze stiff like a board as I stared into the mirror with disbelief...

This did not look good…

The officers stepped outside of their car with their flashlights on and shined them at my female friend whose face was buried in the trash can. Both lights immediately pointed in my direction as my head started spinning and my stomach began churning…

The next thing I know, I was calling my brother to come to bail me out of the drunk tank the next day. I had blown over a .08 in the sobriety tests at the station. I dragged my feet with shame and disappointment in myself as I walked out of the station...

The Emotional Torture After A DUI


First of all, I know I should have never driven in the first place. I hated myself more than anyone knows. I take full responsibility for my actions and I would recommend that nobody else drives with alcohol in their system. I spent approximately 16 hours at the station and I was so distraught.

Those 16 hours felt like years. So many thoughts flooded my head…

“Well, there goes my life, my career, and my self-worth…”

After my brother picked me up from the police station, I couldn’t eat or sleep for a week. I couldn’t believe the DUI charge even happened to me.

I have to say, if I didn’t have classes to go to, I probably would have laid in bed for the next 3 or so months…

Every day was torture. I wasn’t suicidal but every day I returned home from school I wanted to have a breakdown and punch some pillows out of frustration…

I was so mad at myself. How could I be so reckless?

It felt like my life was over.

All of my insurance bills went up... and I had to pay for all of those DUI classes. I was a college student barely affording to eat already so this really made money tight.

Not to mention I had to deal with the embarrassment of telling all of my grandparents, uncles, aunts, and friends about why I could not drive myself around. This was the worst part. Not telling my family and friends... but not being able to drive. It really does make you so dependent on other people and public transportation. Your schedule revolves around people and bus schedules. Ride-sharing applications add up and I just didn’t have the money to spend.

I can’t tell you enough.

Everything about getting a DUI is stressful.


Take It One Day At A Time

I had to live every day with the regret of drinking and driving but after a lot of time, I got used to it. I eventually fully accepted my mistake as well as the consequences and my life felt a little less stressful.

I’d recommend to anyone who was recently convicted of a DUI to take it one day at a time. Don’t stress about getting jobs, or thinking too much about your future but instead, to make the most of the day and take the best steps moving forward. Looking back, this was a really stressful time in my life but honestly, I simply made a mistake.

And we all make mistakes. This is not to lessen my actions or try to rationalize that what I did was okay, however, it just puts me back in perspective to not be so hard on myself.

I am human, you know.

My good buddy who is a freelance copywriter recommended that I keep a journal for emotional therapy. Keeping a log about how I was feeling on some of those days where I was feeling especially down really helped a lot. Just writing about the stress and struggles I experienced would help me feel less distraught.

I’m honestly really grateful for the experience because it taught me not to drive with any alcohol in my system and to really think of driving as a privilege. After all that time, I relied on people to take me places, I am so grateful to be able to drive now.

Just know that the charge does eventually go away on your record and you will be okay. I couldn’t work some jobs while I was in college because I had a DUI on my record, but for the most part, it wasn’t too much of a factor in my job searches.

Please think twice if you are about to drive home with alcohol in your system. Trust me, it blows to not be able to drive. You will get through it. Again, it’s going to be tough, but you’ll make it through. What really helped me was to hang out with friends or family members who knew I wasn’t a bad person. They know I just made a mistake and treated me like normal which really lent a hand to rebuild my self-esteem.

The best piece of advice for anybody out there who just recently received a DUI is to learn your lesson and move on. Not to sound like your parent but that’s really all that we can do in that situation. The past is the past and all we can do is focus on being better in the future.

Bio:
Brandon Leuangpaseuth is a freelance writer from San Diego, CA. You can connect with him on LinkedIn @ bleuangpaseuth

Guest Post: Getting Home Safely

Dale Vernor reached out to me via my contact page, and asked to share his thoughts on alternatives to driving drunk. He emphasized that due to the time of year, this information needs to be out there as much as possible, and I agreed. Dale is a writer and researcher in the fields of mental health and substance abuse. He enjoys discussions on politics. - Tom

It’s 2 a.m. The bartender has announced last call and you know you have to get home, but you’ve been drinking pretty steadily all night. Or, your friend’s party could be ending and you’re feeling a little buzzed.

In either case, driving home isn’t worth it. If you try driving home, you could get into an accident that hurts you or others or does serious property damage. Even if you’re lucky enough to avoid an accident, you could be charged with a DUI or face other legal trouble.

December holidays and New Year’s celebrations can be particularly dangerous. Many people drink during these celebrations and might get behind the wheel when its dark, the weather can be bad, and roads can be icy. In 2017, the U.S. Department of Transportation noted, “Nationally, over the past five years, an average of 300 people died in drunk driving crashes the week between Christmas and New Year.”

So what can you do during the holiday season or any other time when you are out drinking to avoid getting a DUI?

  • Call a friend or family member. You would be surprised how many friends and family members would hop out of bed during a dead sleep to come and pick you up. Sure, it might feel a little embarrassing at first. Sure, you might feel guilty for waking them up late at night. But, a little initial embarrassment and guilt is far better than the pain and trouble you could experience if you cause a deadly accident or receive a DUI.

  • Assign a Designated Driver. If you have a group of friends that go out a lot for drinks, rotating the DD is the most fair way to go about this. Taking the time to call a friend, call a cab service or ride sharing company, or getting a designated driver could save you court costs, jail time or even court ordered alcohol rehab.

  • Call a taxi or ride sharing service. Yes, this cost money but compared to court costs a taxi or an Uber is way less expensive. Yes, it is inconvenient to have to go back and get your car the next day, but driving drunk and risking a DUI and staying the night in jail, if not longer is far more inconvenient than getting your car the next day.

You’re not the first person who has had too much to drink and needs a ride home. You won’t be the last. Drunk driving is not worth the risk, the consequences of accidents and DUIs are long-term. Don’t let feelings of bothering someone for a ride, or the cost of a taxi deter you from getting home safe.

DUI Life: A Year Ago

Ran into somebody the other day. Recognized him immediately, but wasn’t sure from where. Started talking, trying to figure it out. Then it came…

“Fuck that DUI class, man. That was some bullshit”.

Ah, yes. That’s where he’s from.

We caught up. He was one of the people I liked hearing from in the group session of class. Funny guy, honest. Hadn’t seen him in quite some time.

Made me think back.

A year ago, I was going every Wednesday to a three hour class, learning, and re-learning that what I had done was wrong. Learning that what others had done were wrong. Being lead in discussions around inane topics like “Why do you think people drink?”

A year ago I was going to an AA meeting every week, hearing people tell horrific stories of hitting the absolute rock bottom, then having to share “I had like three beers too many one night” and getting looks from everyone else.

A year ago, I would get into my car, turn the ignition and wait 45 seconds for my interlock to turn on, and blow into it, and blow every 15 minutes to make sure that I hadn’t had any alcohol.

A year ago, I would have never had another person in my car.

A year ago, I would have to argue with a seedy car accessories owner to get two months on my interlock instead of one.

A year ago, I was getting constant reminders - from class, from my car, from the DMV, from my insurance, from tv commercials, that I had done something wrong.

A year ago I had to go into another separate class to tell me that yes, I had done something wrong.

While it wasn’t the most pleasant flashback, it made me realize how much this whole experience has changed me. More importantly, it’s nice how much I don’t have to think about my DUI every day, every car ride, every long meeting.

Today I drive my car freely, and easily.

Today I have passengers.

Today I am not required to be anywhere, at any time for the state.

Today I am half done with my probation.

Today I still feel bad about what I have done.

Today I realize that it doesn’t define me as a person.

Today I still drink, but when I do, I take an uber.

Today if I end up drinking while out, I use my breathalyzer to make sure I’m good to drive before I do.

Today I don’t drink as much as I once did.

Today I’m paying crazy high insurance.

Today I’m closer to having this behind me.

The process of satisfying the court seemed like it would never end. That every time I would have to calibrate my interlock another month seemed like it would be forever. Every class made it seem like time was standing still. It felt like I would be punished forever.

I’m glad that I can be here to say that you won’t be. You’re punished, and you do what you need to, and little-by-little, you get to think about it less. You feel the pain less and less every day.

You move on, and eventually life returns to normal.

When you’re in the middle of it, it’s hard to imagine. The further you go along, the quicker it seems to go.

I know I started this blog with advice a lawyer told me, “It all goes away”. It’s hard to believe in the moment, but I can tell you:

It all goes away.

Honestly.

Seriously.

It all goes away.

The Next Few Days

The first few days after a DUI arrest are the worst part of the whole experience.

No, I'm not exaggerating.

If you're like me, if you're like most people, you're going to absolutely beat yourself up. You'll feel the pain of knowing what you did, the fear of all the possible things that could happen to you. You'll feel anxiety, nervousness, guilt, self-hatred and loathing. It's an incredible mix of conflicting yet all-negative emotions swirling around in the pit of your stomach, your heart, and your head all at once.

It's an incredibly difficult, depressing time.

Your conscience is going to tell you the 50 ways you made mistakes that night, tell you about all the other times you did and got away with it, tell you how you could've killed yourself or, even worse, somebody else, maybe even a kid, or a family.

What are your friends going to think? Will they ever talk to you again? Are you going to walk into a place and watch as everybody becomes quiet and starts pointing fingers, "Look, there's the guy who drove drunk!".

In my experience, you will beat yourself up worse than anybody else. You expect other people to yell at you, and revile you, and say awful things… truth be told… it doesn't really happen. You'll be told that you should have known better and that you fucked up, but, everyone knows that it's wrong to do, and they most likely have done it themselves. So they're not that hard on you. Not as hard as you would expect. The other DUI offenders I've spoken to have generally reflected this sentiment as well. Driving drunk is something that everybody knows is wrong and nearly everybody does. It's bad, it's stupid, it's wrong, but it's just how it is.

The churning stomach doesn't start. I don't think I ate the day afterwards until late and I really had to. You wake up and it's the first thing you think about, at night it's the last thing you think about - usually making you stay awake for an hour, maybe two, maybe more, in bed turning worst case scenarios over and over again in your head. At work it's always in the back of your head, biting at you, making you wonder if everybody knows somehow.

Again, I'm sorry that you're going through this. I felt completely worthless as a human being, and it took some time to get over these feelings. The remorse I felt was more than I could ever express in any way, and I'm sure yours is too. The thought of feeing those feelings again is more of a deterrent for me than anything else.

I cried, I prayed for forgiveness, I was depressed, I felt completely horrible.

Ironically, the pain of my DUI lead me to drink more than ever. At home, of course. Hair of the dog? Maybe. I was certainly bitten. Sign of a reliance on alcohol? Perhaps. It only now really hits me how funny it is that we celebrate both the successes and victories in life by drinking, and use it to morn our losses and express our condolences.

I drank, and I drank a lot. Beer, vodka, whatever. I drank in a dark room feeling sorry for myself. I hated myself for what had happened. Was it the best way to get the feelings out? Maybe, probably not.

But it worked.

After two or three days of wallowing in self-pity, I came out of my complete depression, and put it together - alright, we messed up, let's do what we can to make things the best they can be, fix the things we can, make amends, and get it to where we can move on.

Do I recommend heavy drinking afterwards? No, of course not. But I recommend getting your grief out, in whatever manner is appropriate for you.

Be sad, get the emotions out, then prepare to move on.

This is a temporary thing, it won't change too much of your life.

You can get through this and on with your life.

I promise.